Discussion notes I riffed off of from the myth of the Mayan Hero Twins:
- “Dirt under divine fingernails…”
- “Trust each other enough to sacrifice…”
My finger nails never stay clean. I pick, pick, pick at my body and it sticks there under my nails. I peel, peel, peel away thinking and considering, trying to unearth the underneath me. The new clean me. My twin is under there, my twin, myself, my shadow, dark chocolate core underneath the candy coating. Or maybe it’s the other way around.
As a child I played with Shadows before bed. An only child, my companion was stuck to the wall/ the shadow world of my hands and the light of my imagination. It was safe for her to act out, shape shift. In the real world I always feared that action meant change — bad, painful, hurtful and destructive.
I’ve always had a concern about twins. Identified as a Gemini - I love to search for the other me. I want it to be revealed, unearthed, found, and accepted. For a longtime, I thought/ believed it — my soul’s other half would be a man — a soul companion, lover, completor. The light to my dark. Now I’m not so sure. Now certainty is as hard to come by as a good man. I’m admitting to myself that the truth may be that I have no twin, similar, companion, mirror image. But images are ok and reflections are real. Real in so much as they cause change and reveal.